Finding the beauty

I have struggled my whole life with being self conscious. In my teen years I dealt with eating disorders multiple times. Now, as an adult, and a mother of 2, I struggle with it just as much as I did in highschool. Maybe even more.

This month, I have had three conversations with my five year old daughter about calories and fat because of things that she has heard, and repeated. Yes, some things she heard in her own home, from her mother's mouth. Others she has heard from neighbor girls or friends. I know that I can't protect her from what she hears outside of my home, but I can help prepare her on how to love herself no matter what other's say. It makes me so sad that I'm already having these kinds of conversations with her at this age. I thought I had a few more years to prepare for this!?

How can I teach my daughter how to love herself how she is, because that is how God made her....when I struggle with it on a daily basis? I have learned on numerous occasions that being a parent isn't just teaching your child. It (more times than not) is your child teaching YOU as well. 

God tells us that we should "love our neighbors as ourself" (Matthew 22:39). How exactly are we supposed to love ourself? Just the inside? We can't love what's on the inside if we don't love what's on the outside. Likewise, we can't love what's on the outside if we don't love what's on the inside. Being a mom has made my struggle even harder because heaven knows, there's so much to be unhappy with. The extra baggage, the stretch marks. But I'm starting to learn to be happy with it because it is what God made my body to do. My body wasn't made just to walk around and look pretty. My body was made to carry babies. And I have carried two amazing babies for (a total of) 18 months. That extra baggage and those stretch marks are proof of what I've done. Of what my body did. They teach me to be proud. They remind me what my job is and how I need to grow and be better at it on a daily basis.

I'm so excited to teach my daughter about what her body is capable of. About all the amazing parts and pieces that God created so she can one day make a baby and let life grow inside of her, and to raise up her daughter (or son) (but we'll go with daughter since this family can't produce boys) to be just as amazing as she is.   I love seeing God use my daughters to help me grow as a wife, mom, woman, and child of His. 

Changes.

Last thursday I got up at 4:30 a.m. (I will not tell you how scary I looked at that time of the morning) and took my littlest lady to the surgery center for tubes in her ears. She's had fluid on her poor little ears since december and has had multiple ear (and double ear) infections and it was time for tubes. Brian had Friday off and so he couldn't take thursday off which left me going alone. I went in my super-mommy cape though and everything went great! Olivia had tubes twice and so this wasn't my first rodeo. I did remember how long Liv cried after from anesthesia and that's what made me the most nervous. The nurse gave Norah some "loopy juice" and came back about 10 minutes later to get her. I handed her off and the nurse carried her back. Right before going through the doors, she looked at me with her drowsy little face and managed to lift her little hand up and waved bye bye. OH SNAP! Tears most definitely followed.

42 minute later (yes, 42) they came and got me and I went back to see my sweet girl. The nurse was holding her and she wasn't even crying. She saw me and said "mama! mama!" and snuggled right up with me. Let me just tell you how awesome this girl was. She NEVER cried. Okay, she cried once in the car and that was because she saw the hospital tag still on her ankle and was trying to rip it off. haha.

Since getting the tubes, she's been even happier than her normal happy self. And her words are starting to spew out of her mouth. Just since last week she's now added "papa" and "mommy" (sounds more like meh-mee). Why yes, I do melt into a giant puddle everytime she says it. How did you know?

Olivia is getting ready to go on a new big journey herself! Yesterday I picked up the packet from our church for Kindergarten! I can't believe it's time for that already! We've prayed, and decided to put her in school at our church. We want what is best for her and want her in a safe enviroment and in a place where she's free to pray, and talk about Jesus. I'm not sure at all where the money is going to come from, but I know that God will provide! I can't wait to see how He blesses.

And something totally un-kid related and completely random: These 2 video's have been on repeat in my house all week. Literally. You might not be my friend anymore if you seen how many times I have played them.

I hope Phillip wins! But then colton sings and I hope he wins. I wonder if they could both win? haha. Good thing I don't have to decide!

And this is just a fabulous cover of the song. The bearded guy is probably the coolest dude, ever. And I just saw that they have bearded guy shirts. Seriously? Sign.me.up!

Easter.

We had a great Easter weekend! The weather was FABULOUS and we spent alot of time outside. Saturday we did things around the house while the girls played out in the backyard. Little miss Norah is much like her sister and loooves being outside. She loved having the freedom of going in and out through the slideing door as she pleased. Saturday night we decided to grill and we made Ash's chicken. It.was.amazing! Ashley is my husbands sister from phoenix who is an awesome cook. She should really start a blog and share some of her recipes! (hint hint!)  Eh hem. Anyways. The chicken was amazing (didn't I say that once?) and we steamed broccoli on the side. I decided to give my broccoli some zing and squeezed a little bit of fresh lemon on top and then sprinkled it with kosher salt. Holy yum! I ate alot. And I regretted it later.

Saturday Olivia and I also made some Bunny Bait (which was mentioned in the previous post) and it was just as good as ever. It's so addicting. And I'm sure the possibilities are endless. I am sure I'll be making it for birthdays and other holidays now. I'm already planning for Santa Bait. haha. Come on, tell me this doesn't look fabulous??

On Easter I thought we were going to be celebrating alone, but my MIL and FIL came back from their little trip on saturday night and so we spent the day with them. I had to work in the nursery at church so I missed out on the service which really sucked, but it's okay because someone's gotta watch all those cute little kiddo's so it might as well be me. :)

(How adorable are they?)

After church we had lunch and then played some cards. (Brian and I got smoked by the older's TWICE. How does that happen? Next time we'll have to play Twister. I bet we'll win then!) I took dessert and let me just tell you how stinking amazing it was! There's 2 pieces left in my fridge and I'm currently deciding if I should share with my hubby when he gets home or eat them both really really fast. I could always blame the missing piece on Wally (my mom's dog who we are dog sitting). haha. Ok, Ok. I'll share.

This was super easy and suuuuuuuuper tasty. The crust is just crushed pretzels (a little-ish) butter and sugar. And the center is cream cheese and cool whip mixed (little more sugar). And the top layer is raspberry jello and raspberries. SO good. It says to set for 4 hours but I just made it the night before and let it set over night. In the fridge of course. :) I figured I should throw that out there so people don't go making themselves sick from food poisoning or something.

Olivia and Norah did a little easter egg hunt in the backyard. They had a blast and the 70* weather was fantasticccc!

Well, I have 2 small monsters to feed and get ready for bed and then I have a date with my couch and The Voice while I wait for my hubby to get home. I hate these late nights. :( I'm so blessed to have a husband who works so hard for us. <3

Have a great week and I hope God's blessings pour out on each of you!

Hello, Springtime.

I have learned that as much as my heart wants to have a blog and keep up with everything that goes on... I suck at it! Maybe it's the crazy independent 5 year old? Or maybe it's the (almost) 15 month old who likes to play in the toilet or lock herself in the closet when I'm not looking. Or maybe it's the neverending piles (er, mountains) of laundry? 

Life here has been slightly bumpy lately. This winter was the crazy cycle of sickness for us. If it wasn't one of us, it was all of us. Mix that with gloomy, grey, and cold weather and you've got a recipe for the yuckies. But there is an end in sight! The grass is turning green, the tree's are blooming (and beautiful!) and we've even been able to enjoy some time playing outside in the sun! It's unbelievable how amazing that first warm day of sun feels on your face. It makes me wish I could bottle it up and bust it out in the middle of January.

Olivia is a big proud 5 year old now. There isn't a day that goes by that she doesn't tell me "I like being 5. I'm like a grown up now and not little like when I was 3." Oh child. She'll be starting Kindergarten in September. I know, I can't believe it either. She'll be going to school at our church. I'm super nervous about it but I know it's going to be SO good for her. She's super smart and I'm sure she'll do just fine. I just can't believe I'm already talking about this. Before I know it, I'll be filling out Norah's school information. (I can't believe I just said that. Someone slap me!)

Speaking of Norah. She's just as awesome as ever. She'll be 15 months old on Tuesday. She weighs 21 pound 10 ounces. I'm not sure how "long" she is, but I think she's pretty short. She can thank her mama for that! ;) She's been battling quite a bit of ear infections and has fluid on her ears since December! So, we see the ENT on Monday to see about getting tubes. Her big sister had to have tubes twice so it looks like she's already following in sissy's footsteps.

The girls love eachother. It's amazing to watch them interact and see the love between them. The two of them were playing last week and Olivia got carried away (and after 230948120 warnings) Norah hit her head. I sent Olivia out of the room so I could calm Norah down and Norah wasn't interested in hugging me. Instead she walked down the hall with her arms spread out and laid her head on sissy's tummy. She wanted her to know that she wasn't mad at her. Golly gee. It's moment like those that I soak in as best as I can.

This weekend is Easter and everyone has their own plans with family this year and so we'll be on our own. It is kinda wierd not celebrating with anyone! But, it'll be a fun little memory for us. It's supposed to be 75* and so there will be alot of outdoor activities. Olivia and I are making little peeps smores giftbags for her friends and then we're gonna make some Bunny Bait. What is bunny bait? Oh let me tell you how my sister in law, Jenn, has ruined my life. And by ruined, I mean changed it forever! You can thank pinterest for this awesome recipe: http://www.singforyoursupperblog.com/2011/04/23/bunny-bait/

Have an amazing Easter everyone! We love, and pray for you all daily. <3